PRESIDENT OBAMA & MICHELLE OBAMA @ THE WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENTS' DINNER.
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Here are the highlights:
On Obamacare: "Of course, we rolled out HealthCare.gov. That could've
gone better. In 2008 my slogan was 'Yes, We Can.' In 2013, my slogan was
'Control, Alt, Delete.'"
On CNN's exhaustive coverage of Malaysia Flight 370: "I'm a little
jet-lagged from my trip to Malaysia. The lengths we have to go to for
CNN coverage these days. I think they're still searching for their
table."
On MSNBC: "They're a little over-whelmed. They've never seen an audience this big before."
On Donald Trump's birth certificate investigation: "An American won the
Boston Marathon for the first time in 40 years, which was inspiring and
only fair since a Kenyan has been President for the past six."
On Fox News: "Let's face it, Fox. You'll miss me when I'm gone. It'll be
harder to convince the American people that Hillary [Clinton] was born
in Kenya."
On John Boehner's skin color: "I'm feeling sorry, believe it or not, for
the speaker of the House, as well. These days the House Republicans
give John Boehner a harder time than they do me. Which means orange
really is the new black."
On the government shutdown: "One thing
we've been unable to agree on is unemployment insurance. Republicans
refuse to extend it. I'm beginning to think they have a point. If you
want to get paid while not working, you should have to run for Congress
just like everybody else.
Special guest “The Soup” host Joel McHale stumbled through his routine
of poorly executed jokes, which left the audience groaning more than
laughing. Must have been the nerves.
On critics of Obamacare: "How well does ObamaCare have to work before
people don't want to repeal it. What if everyone's cholesterol drops to
120? What if your yearly check up came with tickets to a Clippers game?
Not the old Don Sterling Clippers, the new Oprah Clippers! Would that be
good enough? What if it gave Mitch McConnell a pulse?"
On Cliven Bundy: "As a general rule, things don't end well if the
sentence starts with, 'Let me tell you something about the Negro,'"
Obama said. "You don't really need to know the rest of it, just a tip
for you."
